Top Ten (11) Joxer Plots We Want to See Next Season

11. Joxer loses his sword, finds it in a lake (or stuck in a stone), then gets mistaken for some guy named Arthur; a comedy of mistaken identity ensues.

10. Gabrielle hits Joxer a little too hard and he spends the entire episode unconscious.

9. Joxer decides it's his mission in life to make Xena and Gabby happy, so he tries to play matchmaker.

8. Joxer decides to give up on imitating Xena and imitate Gabby instead. He enters the Bardic Academy and is soon expelled for setting dirty limericks to music.

7. Iolaus has a falling-out with Herc and, in spite, decides to be Joxer's sidekick. Confusion ensues as the two bumble their way through a fight with Xena's enemy-of-the-week.

6. There is no six.
5a. Hera gets mad and turns Joxer into a frog, which both Xena and Gabby refuse to kiss.

5b. Hera gets mad and turns Joxer into a horse who, much to Xena's and Gabby's dismay, tries to mate with Argo.

4. Gabby foolishly introduces Joxer to Hauer and they spend the entire episode swapping "I Wooed Xena" fish stories.

3. Joxer travels to Tartarus in search of Callisto, who, when found, pulls another body-switch and goes off to wreak more havoc. (Which do you find scarier: the idea of Hudson playing Joxer, or of Ted playing Callisto?)

2. Joxer falls for Miss Artifice and tries to rescue her when she is kidnapped by a local warlord. Includes the soon-to-be-infamous "two swords, no chakram" scene as Gabby attempts to delicately explain the problem to a clueless Joxer.

And the number one plot we want to see with Joxer next season:

1. Aphrodite puts another spell on Joxer, only this time he's irresistible to *men.* A gleeful Gabrielle immediately introduces him to Uselysses.

Disclaimer: No actors' egos were harmed in the production of this Top Ten List.