Bad Fanfic! No Biscuit!

Mulder Gets an Anal Probe

By Siubhan (website)

Have you ever read a piece of fanfic that was just ugly for no good reason? Where someone gets tortured and raped for pages and pages on end, then gets rescued, and then the story's over? Now yes, it may be realistic that horrible things sometimes happen to people, but isn't fanfic supposed to be fun to read? What's the point in reading something that's just ugly from start to finish? Where's the payoff? And why write it? 1 Here's a truncated example of that kind of story. The torture is fairly graphic, but brief. You can easily skim over it. And unlike other badfic stories on this site, it's not funny. At the end of the footnotes is a "How this story could be saved" note. Click here to skip directly to the Notes. Or, click any footnote.

Mulder felt the pull of the hooks piercing his cheeks, stretching his skin from his face. He didn't know how long he'd been here, naked and strapped to this cold metal chair, but he knew it had been a long time. He'd hoped that time would make the pain of the hooks lessen, but it didn't. He still felt the icy coldness of each and every one, the sharp pain of each hole, the near-tearing of skin from meat. 2

There was a sudden new coldness as he felt part of the chair slide away from beneath him. A metallic whir told him what was coming next. Another probe. Another drill slicing through flesh and bone, testing who knows what. His pain threshold had certainly been tested, and he'd failed time and time again. The familiar bone-chilling terror seized him by the throat as the whirring got louder, and just before the flail started ripping into the flesh of his anus, he screamed the one name that gave him any comfort in this cold, painful place. The one name that could save him.

"Scully!" 3


[Ten pages of horrific torture snipped for the sake of brevity and good taste. 4]


Skinner dashed into the basement office. "They've found Mulder," he panted. 5

Scully's head snapped up. "Where is he?"

"The hospital." He held out his hand, and Scully bolted out from behind the desk.

Doggett silently watched them go. He knew this wasn't for him. He'd wait.


Scully silently read the medical report on the trip over as Skinner drove. She'd seen rosier reports in Amnesty International's files. It was horrific: nearly one quarter of Mulder's body was missing, and the remaining parts all showed signs of systematic torture. It was a wonder he was alive, but his kidnappers appeared to have gone to great lengths to ensure his survival.

Letting him die would have been more merciful.

They raced through the hallways of the hospital, making a beeline for the secure wing, where they knew Mulder would be kept. Deputy Director Kirsch attempted to stop them outside Mulder's door, but Skinner cold-cocked him. Scully palmed the door open and raced to Mulder's bedside.

Empty eye sockets turned to her as his one remaining arm stretched a fingerless hand to the sky. "Scully? Scully? Why won't you save me, Scully?"

"Sssh, Mulder, I'm right here," she said, taking his battered hand in hers. "I'm right here."

"Where are you Scully? Why can't you save me?" Mulder whimpered again, voice hoarse.

"Can't you hear me?" Scully asked, biting back tears.

"Scully, why won't you save me? Where are you?"

"I don't think he can hear you," Skinner said, putting strong hands on Scully's shoulders. "I don't think he can hear anything anymore."

"His ears are fine," she whispered.

"I know."

Scully lowered her head and sobbed into Mulder's palm as he continued desperately crying out for her and not hearing an answer. 6



1. I actually suspect that these stories get written because the authors have personal issues they're trying to work out. However, since there's no resolution at the end of most of these stories, I get the feeling that their attempt was unsuccessful. They just inflict agony on a fanfic character to make someone hurt worse than they do. To make someone feel more helpless than they do. However, I suppose that's better than finding a real person to do that to.
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2. Unfortunately, this is canon. Thanks a lot, Chris Carter.
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3. Ew. Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew. Okay, what was the point of that scene? Why did we need to read that? That was disgusting! Who the hell likes reading that level of torture? Yes, hurt/comfort stories are a popular genre, but isn't it better to gloss over the details and get to the comfort as quickly as possible?
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4. If only this shit got glossed over for real in stories like this.
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5. Where? How? Any speculation on Skinner's part as to what happened to Mulder?
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6. How fucking depressing. How totally fucking depressing. How utterly, thoroughly, totally, and completely depressing. I think I'm going to go slit my wrists right now. After putting the reader through pages and pages and pages of gory Mulder-torture, there is no comfort at the end. Why did we sit through all of that? What was the point? I mean, perhaps if you're a Mulder hater, reading pages and pages of Mulder-torture might be something of a kick, but still. What was the point to this story? Fiction is supposed to entertain, or educate, or make you think. It's not supposed to simply depress you. The American electoral process is depressing enough, thank you very much. I read fanfic for an escape.
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How This Story Could Be Saved

Okay, for starters, ten pages of graphic torture is not necessary. Not in the least. However, the intro scene that I included, while nasty, could be used appropriately if that were the only torture scene in the story. Simply showing a taste of what poor Mulder is going through, then flashing forward however many months, would suffice.

Next, there needs to be more detail on how Mulder was found, what the speculation is on how he got in that state, and what the FBI is doing about it. It's what they'd do on the show, so the story should do it too. By doing that, you'll give your story a more genuine feel. Plus, it fills in details that the reader will be wondering about. This doesn't need to be done in gory detail, especially if it would disturb the narrative flow, but some explanation would be helpful.

Finally, there needs to be resolution, and realistic resolution at that. Mulder has just gone through several months of horrific torture, and his body has been mutilated beyond repair. The author needs to get off her butt and do research on the aftermath of torture, and then she needs to incorporate it into her story. And since this was set up as a Mulder/Scully hurt/comfort, the story needs to have Scully offering comfort and healing. Otherwise, it's a cheat. No, Mulder will never be the same again, but we need to see him heal to some degree. Otherwise, the story has no point.

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Last updated January 8, 2001