Sith Academy Haiku

(aka SAiku)

Haiku is a Japanese poetry form consisting of three lines, where the first and third lines have five syllables each and the second line has seven syllables. (In "real" haiku there are more rules than that, but in SAiku, all you need is 5-7-5!)

The haiku below were written by various members of the Sith Academy email list. Click any contributor's name to send her email. This page is maintained by Joan the English Chick. Credit goes to Siubhan for creating the Sith Academy in the first place, and to r'Hul for coining the term "SAiku." Click here to go back to the Sith Academy.

General Sith Academy Themes

My Apprentice

By Cait Alexander
My Apprentice is
A guileless, innnocent cat
Bring Tuna <whammy!>
By Joan the English Chick
Cuddles, Fluffi-Wan
Nothing can protect you from
Furry Paws of Death
I am quite busy
Must hone my rage and ... I mean,
must open tuna.

Kilt, Sex, Now

By Cait Alexander
Tartan, stripes, plaid, clans
Kilt, sex, now. You know we want
To see Obi's legs
By Darth Grey
Black, red, gold, green. Kilt.
Force-driven crazed weasel. Sex.
Title? Who Cares? Now!

Yoda

By Cait Alexander
Yoda in drag is
A truly horrible sight
Ahh, my eyes, my eyes!
If Yoda wrote a
SAiku? Not enough grammar,
does the old perv know.
By Joan the English Chick
Try to avoid this
disturbing mental image:
Yoda in fishnets.

The Gray Side of the Force

By Cait Alexander
Pete's Wicked Ale or
Guiness. It must be Friday.
So, your place or mine?
By Joan the English Chick
Hot Force-driven love
No longer just Fridays, but
"He's not my boyfriend!"
By The Intrepid Condo-Owning Melissa^tm
Gray Side of the Force
Hamster Death Gulp numbs my brain
Obi's singing! Drool...
By Darth Grey
Heat. Close to the ground.
Black leather Force-Boyz -- lines blur.
Grey Side Denial. Bliss.

Sidious/Palpatine

By The Intrepid Condo-Owning Melissa^tm
Such a kindly man.
A vote for Palpatine is
A vote for order!
By Auntie Krizu
Oh, dear old Palpy
give us a glimpse of your heels
stilettos suit you.

Miscellaneous

By Cait Alexander
Rage. Savour the taste
Pure, unadulterated
Beer, pizza and Maul
Spatula. I will
Never look at you the same.
Now, cooking is fun.
Dull beige Jedi robes
Obi's more fun when he wears..
well... nothing at all
Ratty old t-shirt
We all know, Sith Lords Kick Ass
Best fashion statement.
By The Intrepid Condo-Owning Melissa^tm
Sith Academy
It distracts me from my work
Keeps my brain awake
Star Wars collection
LucasFilm stuff fills my shelf
Why did I buy this?

By Joan the English Chick
Jedi twit next door
Sentient beings in fridge
The life of a Sith.
Watch Darth Lara Croft
on the screen till your eyes cross
Sith Do Not Take Breaks.
By Mel
Darth Maul comic book
Tattoos go all the way down...
I am Mary Sue
The aging hippy
Enjoys his special brownies
Off to Happy Farms!
Obi's lightsabre
Is always ready to go
No! His other one!

Haiku about Star Wars: Episode II

By Calligrafiti

As long as Ewan
Loses the robe at some point
I will watch gladly
By Imp

George made a nightmare
Never go watch it alone
Oh god! Jar-Jar clones!
By Jedimom
Faugh. Crappy title.
I'll be down at the Grey Side,
Drinking with the boyz.
By The Plaid Adder
Attack of the Clones:
Maul, Maul, Maul, Maul, Maul, and Maul.
Look! Silver lining!

By The Intrepid Condo-Owning Melissa^tm
Attack of the Clones
The title could have been worse
I'll still go see it
By Auntie Krizu
Crap title it is
I miss Obi-Wan's bottom
Still, paying for it.
Christopher Lee -- Sith?
I will bow down and worship
Kissing his robe's hem
Bucketloads of angst
More of that hurt and comfort
Slashiness is bliss.
Obi, please give us
Un-jedilike behaviour
Do whup Jar-Jar's ass.

By Darth Grey
Gore splattered void. Oops...
"Bacta! DNA! Engage
The Maul-O-Matic!!"
Clones attack! Wool singed,
Darth Molly Bleats, "Plunder? Hah!
Sith Sheep Kick Viking Ass!"
Black, red, gold, green. Kilt.
Force-driven crazed weasel. Sex.
Title? Who Cares? Now!
Scoff even do I!
Better could Spielberg do. Hmph!
Failed your *whammy* has

Haiku about Sith Academy Merchandise

(Order by Sept. 17, 2001! Click here for details)

By Vyola
New SithWear and stuff!
Get a shirt for every day
Wear sweats on weekend
Going to a con?
A duffle bag would be nice
Order yours today
A Sith, his Master
A bunch of menial crap
Where *is* my towel?
Give in to your greed
Conspicuous consumption
Sidious approves

Haiku about SA Con

(Sith Academy Con, April 2001)

By Fionnabair
Faithful Apprentice
Grovelling in front of me
It's all about Fi
By The Intrepid Condo-Owning Melissa^tm
Big airport goodbye
Mystified crowd must wonder
Who this Fi chick is
By Vyola
We're innocent Sith
Lady, don't give us that glare
Your kid followed *us*
By Joan the English Chick
What a quick learner
Kid yells "it's all about Fi!"
My young apprentice

By r'Hul
Sing "So long farewell"
We hate to say goodbye-eye
Mom pulls kid away

Haiku about the Hell series

By Jedimom
School starts tomorrow.
6 months' post-coital bliss??
Get back to work, boyz.

Haiku By The Rules

(Written upon learning that haiku is supposed to have one seasonal word and one "cutting" word)

By Darth Grey
Fall melancholy
Such a waste of sexy Sith
Slash reunites all

By The Intrepid Condo-Owning Melissa^tm
Coruscant winter
Maul cuts holiday shoppers
Into tiny bits

Haiku in Klingon

By r'Hul
"tlhIngan Hol yIgItlh"
'e' muqaDpu' jedimom
vaj vIgItlhta'qu'
translation also in haiku form:
"write in Klingon language"
jedimom challenged me that
so I did write it!

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Disclaimer: "Star Wars" and all related characters are property of George Lucas. The Sith Academy is the brainchild of Siubhan. This page and its contents are not authorized by George Lucas. This page is authorized but not maintained by Siubhan. No pizza-box lifeforms were harmed in the creation of this webpage.

Joan the English Chick
pisces@englishchick.com
Last updated 17 August 2001