There Are Worse Things I Could Do

Parody Lyrics

Original Lyrics

There are worse things I could do, like raze a village or two Because all of the known world thinks I'm an evil warlord The stories you've heard are true, but there are worse things I *could* do I could take every village--enslave, murder, and pillage Pinch some necks in a tussle, get my way with some muscle You'll do what I tell you to, by the time I'm through with you Maybe I could spare your life, or impale you on my knife Or make you my slave instead, can you cook, make a bed? Heads you live and tails you lose I could destroy all I see, out of rage and treachery I am cold and I am mean, my tender side few have seen (A side of me you'll never know) But to show mercy for you, that's the worst thing I could do

There are worse things I could do, than go with a boy or two Even though the neighborhood thinks I'm trashy and no good I suppose it could be true, but there are worse things I could do I could flirt with all the guys, smile at them and bat my eyes Press against them when we dance, make them think they stand a chance Then refuse to see it through, that's a thing I'd never do I could stay home every night, wait around for Mr. Right Take cold showers every day, and throw my life away On a dream that won't come true I could hurt someone like me, out of spite or jealousy I don't steal and I don't lie, but I can feel and I can cry A fact I'll bet you never knew But to cry in front of you, that's the worst thing I could do

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