What's New Gabrielle?

Music: "What's New Pussycat?" by Tom Jones
Xena Song Parody by Laura Watts/LaLa (gadfly@pacbell.net)

Callisto asks, "What's New Gabrielle?"

What's new Gabrielle?
Whoa oh whoa oh whoa oh
What's new Gabrielle?
Whoa oh whoa oh whoa oh

Gabrielle Gabrielle any new beaus?
Why do they die after kissing you?
Your self-esteem--what on earth is a girl to do!
Gabrielle Gabrielle I curse you, yes I do
Irritating little blonde

What's new Gabrielle?
Whoa oh whoa oh whoa oh
You don't look so swell
Whoa oh whoa oh whoa o

Gabrielle Gabrielle I killed Perdy
I took my sword and I ran him through
You wanted to kill me but you just couldn't, could you?
Gabrielle Gabrielle I hate you, yes I do
How is life as a widow?

::Callisto winks at Gabrielle::

Hey there Gabrielle
Whoa oh whoa oh whoa oh
Let's play show and tell
Whoa oh whoa oh whoa oh

Gabrielle Gabrielle you're so chatty
How does dear Xena put up with you?
What she sees in you--gods--I don't think I'll ever know!
Gabrielle Gabrielle I envy you, yes I do
Why oh why can't I be you?

What's new Gabrielle?
Whoa oh whoa oh whoa oh
What's new Gabrielle?
Whoa oh whoa oh whoa oh

Gabrielle Gabrelle it's so thrilling
I love to torture and torment you
You are the key to destroying pretty Xena's soul
Gabrielle Gabrielle I'll haunt you, yes "that'll do"
You and your blood innocence

::Callisto twines Gabrielle's hair around her finger::

What's new Gabrielle?
Whoa oh whoa oh whoa oh
You better run like hell
Whoa oh whoa oh whoa oh

Gabrielle Gabrielle it's so touching
Xena would do anything for you
How sweet! Is there room in Xena's heart for me too?
I want to be Xena's little friend just like you
Gabrielle Gabrielle life is cruel

Same torture every day
I'm gonna have it my way
I'll make you and Xena pay

::Callisto screams::


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D. Joan Leib
fic@englishchick.com
Last updated 3 January 2000