Gab's So Clueless

Music: "Like A Virgin" by Madonna
Xena Song Parody by LaLa Watts (


Why did I marry Perdicus
Gods, I was such a fool
He was less than second best
Should've married you

All this time, I was blind
All the hints and innuendo
Sometimes I'm so dense
I straddle the fence
Duh! Now I know

Gab's so clueless
Will she ever see the light?
She's so clueless
About my love
All the time

Wanna be your Pookie, Xena
C'mon and take my hand
Been readin' my Sappho Scrolls
And now I understand

Take me now, show me how
You be butch and I'll be femme
Just one kiss from you
Thrills me through and through
Let the games begin!

I'm so clueless
But now I see the light
I've been clueless
About my love
All this time

Your eyes and those thighs
I'm all yours, now don't be shy
'Cuz I've got a clue
I know what to do
Xena, I love you

Gab's so clueless
It was over her head
She was clueless
And, finally, I can
Take her to bed

Gabrielle: No longer clueless
Xena: Well, it's about time
Gabrielle: And it feels so right
Xena: When you hit me
Gabrielle: With the pitchfork
Xena: And I kissed you
Gabrielle: On the dream plane
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Pookie
Xena: Gabriiiielle, no pet names
Gabrielle: Whatever you say, sweet cheeks

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D. Joan Leib
Last updated 3 January 2000