Criminal

Music: "Criminal" by Fiona Apple
Xena Song Parody by Mars


(Callisto to Gabrielle -- Imagine her big, brown, soulful eyes as she pretends remorse, as she did in *A Necessary Evil*)

I've been a bad, bad girl
I've been careless with a delicate man
And it's a sad, sad world,
When a girl would kill a boy just because she can

(Scootching closer to Gabrielle who's flinched at the reminder of Perdicus)

Don't you tell me to deny it
Right or wrong I'll suffer for my sins
I've come to you cause I need guidance to be true
And I just don't know where I can begin

(Standing and walking around the campfire approaching Xena)

Ooohhh
What I need is a good defense
Cause I'm feeling like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed by the one who's sinned against
Because you're all I ever knew of hate

(Facing away, with a dramatic lift of her hand to her brow in the tradition of all helpless heroines)

Ares help me for the way I am
Save me from these evil deeds before I get them done
I know tomorrow brings the consequence at hand
But I keep living this day like the next will never come

(Turning back to face Gabrielle)

Oh, help me but don't tell me to deny it
I've gotta cleanse myself of all these lies that I'm good enough for her
I've got a lot to lose and I'm betting all
So I'm beggin' you before it ends just tell me where to begin

What I need is a good defense
Cause I'm feeling like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed by the one who's sinned against
Because she's all I ever knew of love

Let me know the way before there's Tartarus to pay
Give me room to lay the law and let me go

(Glancing from Xena to Gabrielle)

I've got to make a play to make my lover stay
So what would an angel say the devil wants to know

What I need is a good defense
Cause I'm feeling like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed by the one who's sinned against
Because she's all I ever knew of hate

What I need is a good defense
Cause I'm feeling like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed by the one who's sinned against
Because you're all I ever knew of love

fade


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D. Joan Leib
fic@englishchick.com
Last updated 3 January 2000